Tender Mercies & Modern Miracles - Part IIII

     Okay, so I haven't posted for awhile and that is because I am mixed about this post.  I have thought I should post about it, I want to document it, BUT I really don't have any desire to post about it.  It is gross and not very exciting and I am so glad it is over and past and I don't want to think about it anymore.  However, I guess I will bite the bullet and post.  Also, and most importantly, I realize the blessing and miracle that it was.
     I guess the best place to start is the beginning, it has been a little over a month now when it happened.    I work at my dad's office, he is an orthodontist, I pour up the models of patient's teeth that he shows to new patient's.  It is a little bit of a process and during this process, you have to trim the model.  To do this there is a big trimming machine that grinds down the plaster to the desired shape.  It is like a big rotary sander, standing on it's side.  (I guess I could take a picture, but I didn't, so use that wonderful imagination of yours.)  It has like a sandpaper on it but it is a really rough grain.  Well, I have worked there for years, maybe 8ish years, quite awhile.  I have always wondered what would happen if I accidentally touched the wheel, oh yeah, it spins REALLY fast - like a sander once again.  Well, on this day, September 9th, I was very preoccupied.  (Get ready for a run-on sentence here.)  I had been to a meeting that morning about busing and trying to solve any problems there and was trying to figure that out, Josie was at dance and I wanted to get there early to pick her up so I could watch her for a minute, Jake had a soccer game that started the same time as Josie was done with dance and had already missed 2 1/2 games because of my busy-ness & absentmindedness, Jaxon was at football practice and I had to finish quickly to pick him up, my mom and I had been thinking of planning a vacation and I had just talked to her about it and was worrying about that, Josh and Jainie were home, wishing I were home so they could play, so I was feeling a bit guilty about that, there were many things coming up in my primary calling that I was trying to figure out, Jared was still at work and wouldn't be home for a long time still; so, how was I going to get all this done?  These and many other things were vying for attention in my small, little brain.  I just couldn't concentrate.  Let this be a lesson to you, being focused is important when using potentially dangerous equipment.
     As I was trimming, I remember thinking, "why are you tilting your hand like that?, you are going to shave your fingers off".  And, just like that, it happened.  I totally ground off my fingernails, skin under my fingernails, and skin below my fingers down to the bone - my ring and pinky finger.  It hurt.  I am usually quite calm about these things until I figure out what will be done.  I saw the blood at the same time that I felt the immense pain and immediately grabbed my fingers with my left hand squeezing them as tight as I could.  Luckily, my dad was in the office getting things ready for the next days work - it was about 6:00 - so I called to him, "Dad, will you come in here for a minute?"  He quickly came in, I am sure he was wondering what the ruckus was, I had dropped the model I was working on as I pulled my hand back, breaking off some of the teeth.  He came and helped me put my fingers under the water to see what damage had been done.  We held them there for quite awhile before thinking of what we should do.  It was horrible.  I cannot even describe the pain.  My raw nerves were exposed to the air and water and I had to keep grabbing them every few seconds to try to squish them into some sort of relief.  It seemed we sat there for hours, but I am sure it was only minutes.  I have to admit I wasn't too helpful,  I couldn't really speak or think clearly, so I mostly just whimpered and cried while rocking back and forth.  Fortunately, dad was thinking more clearly.  He tried to call Jared first, but there was no answer so he left a message and we went from there.  Dad wanted to take me to the ER but I refused to go.  I remember I was just so worried about Jake's soccer game.  Both Jaxon and Josie could walk home, so they weren't such a concern.  It was getting so close to 6:30 and Jake was so excited and he needed to get there soon.  Dad grabbed a rag and we wrapped up my fingers, they weren't bleeding too badly by now, and we were still figuring out what to do.  I told him I would see the doctor, but wouldn't go to the ER. It is just too stinkin expensive.  It was late enough that that is what we would have had to do.  So, I told him I didn't think my doctor would mind if he called him at home.  So, he did.  But, the doctor wasn't at his home, his family thought he was at the hospital.  Then, my dad thought maybe he should check and see if the doctor was still at his office, which luckily is right next door to my dad's office.  So, he asked if it was okay if he ran next door, which I told him it was, and he left.  During this time I just paced, holding my fingers in a vice type grip, rocking back and forth, usually humming, trying to keep myself calm, praying Jared would come soon.  I tried to call him again, but still no answer.  I needed him to come and take Jake to his game.  I have to say that I think the scariest thing I have noticed in my times of intense pain are not necessarily the pain but the uncertainty of what is to come.  Not knowing what will happen, not knowing if you will be okay, not knowing what is wrong, not knowing how long this pain will last, etc.  I think if you would have told me that I would feel this for x amount of time, I would have said, "Okay, I can do that."  But, I was so scared of what would happen.  Don't get me wrong, the pain was excruciating but I have done hard things before and I knew I could do them again.  (Not that I wanted to mind you, I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea, I am just fine having no pain, I love being a wimp.)
     My dad came back to the office and asked me if I could walk next door.  So, we went next door and gratefully the doctor and his nurse were still there.  (We later found out that he was late leaving his office because he had delivered a surprise baby that afternoon and that had set his schedule back.  Thank you to whoever had that baby.)  Anyway, it was decided that I should get shots in my fingers of numbing medicine and then we would wrap them up.  So, that is what we did.  I got maybe 4ish shots in each finger, these were also painful - very, but worth it for some relief.  (It was a little past 6:30 at this point.  Jared called while I was getting the shots and said he was in Salina and was on his way home.)  Finally, I felt like I could breathe.  I hate shots, always have, they are really not that bad, I just don't like them.  But, after getting these in my fingers, I was asked if I had a recent tetanus, which I didn't, who does?  My last one was probably in high school and that has been awhile.  So, I got one - good times.  But, at this point, I felt like that no pain would be as bad as what I had just had, and wasn't all that coherent, I probably would have agreed to anything.   My fingers got wrapped up and looked oh so pretty and dad and I walked back next door.  (I need to interject something here - my dad, if any of you know, is very meticulous and safe.  He always locks everything up, windows, doors, you name it, for any amount of time he is gone.  Well, he didn't even lock his office when we went next door, which is really saying something, I am positive he thought of it, but decided that he needed to get me to the doctor first.  My poor dad, he has probably had enough of me and my emergencies.  The last big one was when I had a kidney stone and was pregnant with Jake.  We didn't know it was a kidney stone, but one Sunday I woke feeling a lot of pain in my back and gut.  Jared had to teach Elders Quorum that day so he went to church with Jaxon and Josie and I stayed home with Josh. Anyway, Jared took his cell phone, but turned it off.  I started throwing up from the pain and I couldn't stand up so finally I had to call my parents.  Dad and Mom came immediately over and took me to the hospital where it was found I had a kidney stone - I was 8 months pregnant.  Another story of ridiculous pain and stress.  Another story of my dad and mom saving me.)  So, a million thanks to my doctor and his nurse, not sure if he wants to be named on a blog, but he was wonderful and I will be once again, forever grateful.
     I don't remember exactly what happened with Jake.  I vaguely remember calling and leaving him a message that it was most important that he get home and take Jake to his game.  Well, he showed up about this time and I told him Jake needed to go to his game, and he told me he had already taken him and Josie.  My mind finally relaxed.  So, I drove myself home and tried to sleep.  Ahh, mind-numbing relief.  My kids were so cute, Jaxon and Josh stayed home and took care of me while Jared went and got me a prescription for the pain and antibiotics.  When Jake got home, he claimed he was going to start collecting pop cans to recycle to pay for my bandaids.  I think he collected about 5.  :)  In his defense, we don't have many around here, we don't drink much pop.
     Anyway, I am almost all better, they don't hurt anymore, there were times of horrid pain still.  They were wrapped for quite awhile.  My brother, Andy, who is an ER doc, got a couple calls and emails from us and helped me get through it.  We weren't sure if one of the fingernails would grow back but it has.  Another few months and they should be all grown out.  There may be a scar on the ring finger but I can live with that.  Although my hand modeling days are over.  Darn!  I was just getting started.  This was my shot to send to modeling companies, if you were wondering.

  

(Yep, this is how I felt about the whole situation.)  This was the the day after.












     But, in all seriousness, I am so grateful.  I do realize how bad this could have been, it could have been the tips of my fingers gone, or more fingers, or worse.  I was definitely blessed.  Once again, I know Heavenly Father sends angels to protect us.  And, this was one of those times.  I know of the power of prayer.  I really don't think I should have healed this well or this quickly.  I cannot tell you how many prayers my children said on my behalf.  It was beautiful.  I am grateful for family around me who would listen to my complaining and not get too annoyed with me.  Also, for the meals that family brought in. I am grateful for my mom who came over everyday and did my dishes and laundry, mopped my floor and even cleaned my kids bathroom (she hates cleaning bathrooms).  My house has never looked so good.  I am so grateful for fingers, trust me, it's best to have all 5 on each hand.  I am grateful for our bodies and have renewed my vow to take care of mine better - amazing contraptions.  I am grateful for the testimony builder it has been for me and my children, there isn't a day that goes by that one of my kids doesn't grab my hand and examine how they are doing and then, exclaim that they are looking so good.  And, I am grateful I can type.  I couldn't you know, I was so excited when I typed the blog about our mountain trip, felt so good, even if it was only with three fingers on my right hand.  Three finger typing is just a LOT slower!  I am grateful for good friends who stopped by to see how I was.  I am very grateful it is over and for the knowledge that I will be just fine.

So, this is the 3rd day, they really looked a lot better, even here, than they did before.  Although, you may have to ask my dad, doctor, or the nurse for a more precise point of view.  Once again, I wasn't really in my right mind.

So, this is about a week after it happened.

And, this was 1 month after it happened.  You can see the fingernails growing out in a horseshoe shape.  Amazing, right?  Everyone I talk to that sees them is surprised about how well they look.  Once again, I am amazingly BLESSED & GRATEFUL!